Canadian LOLitics

Canadian Politics: Abridged

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 16:29:00 -0700

Canadian Politics: Abridged

Andrew Coyne and Steve Murray, of the National Post, on the...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:01:20 -0800

Andrew Coyne and Steve Murray, of the National Post, on the Ontario Liberal Leadership Convention.

Canadian Hobbies

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 20:21:00 -0800

Being disdainful of Albertans/Ontarians/Quebeckers. (varies by region)

Being condescending towards Americans.

Not understanding how the parliamentary system works.

Not caring how the parliamentary system works.

Watching the CBC.

Complaining about the CBC.

Watching hockey.

Complaining about hockey.

Watching American news.

Intermittently putting on intentionally terrible southern accents for comic effect whilst talking about American politics.

Using hockey metaphors when talking about politics.

Using hockey metaphors when talking about the weather.

Using hockey metaphors when talking about hockey.

Not knowing who your MP is.

Complaining about the weather.

Drinking.

Complaining about all levels of government.

Collecting Canadian Tire money.

Complaining about mobile phone carriers.

Making fun of British Columbians who whinge when the temperature drops below 5 degrees and when it, god forbid, snows. (northern British Columbia and the rest of Canada)

Making fun of the rest of the still-blanketed-in-snow country whilst flowers are blooming in your garden in February. (southern British Columbia)

Being casually anti-American.

Trying to see if you can tear the new polymer bills.

Best of '12: Canadian Political Quotes of Year

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 22:04:00 -0800

‘I should have called him an Honourable Asshole.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘Mr. Speaker, […] I rise today to condemn the Conservatives for their boosterism and cheerleading of the asbestos cartel and the human misery it causes. […] Dante should have reserved a special level of hell for [these] charlatans and the fraudsters.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘I want my Canada back!’ - Justin Trudeau, MP for Papineau

‘Rupert Murdoch is a bag of shit.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘This is a minister who uses extreme language, who shouts and sounds like the angry troll under the bridge in 3 Billy Goats Gruff.’ - Charlie Angus, MP for Timmins-James Bay

‘It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to connect the dots’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘Who the hell uses a burner cell phone when they’re not trying to hide something? [..] Only dope dealers, and Hell’s Angels, and Tony Soprano use burner cell phones.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘We do not want any smartass gibberish from the member for Peterborough. We have had enough of that.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘Don’t you threaten me you little pissant.’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘The good new is I wrote ‘Fuck You Stephen Gordon’ then erased it. But I reserve the right to call you a pompous dickhead’ - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

‘Mr. Speaker, I would like to thank the member for 8 Mile for the question. […] I will simply say I am not afraid to stand and defend our party, but he is not The Real Slim Shady.’ - Dean Del Mastro, MP for Peterborough and Parliamentary Secretary

‘The Ballad of Justin and Patrick’ - Rodger Cuzner, MP for Bras d’Or—Cape Breton

‘This is such an asinine process that the Conservatives have put us in.’ - The Honourable Scott Brison, MP for Kings-Hants

“If the arse falls out of the Euro, even with primary creditor status these are uncharted territories.” - The Honourable Scott Brison, MP for Kings-Hants

‘The PM doesn’t know his arse from a hole in the ground’ - Ryan Cleary, MP for St. John’s South-Mount Pearl

Is the guy that stupid or is he that stupid? I know he sleeps a lot, but I didn’t realise he was also that stupid. […] It symbolises he’s an idiot and shouldn’t be sitting in parliament. […] What a dickhead, I’d say it stronger than that, but what a complete dickhead. - Peter Stoffer, MP for Sackville-Eastern Shore

‘[The BBC] told us to fuck off’ - The Honourable John Baird, MP for Ottawa West-Nepean and Minister of Foreign Affairs

I hear [my Twitter followers] say, you know, ‘Bob Rae, you’re an asshole’. […] I’m working my way and trying to represent the people and speaking in Question Period and here we have vox populi, the thoughtful man on the street, ‘you are an asshole!’. Thank you very much. I read it on my Twitter and I get up and ask a question.’ - The Honourable Bob Rae, MP for Toronto Centre and Interim Leader of the Liberal Party

“Listen, I would never judge someone who screwed their babysitter for years or knocked up their secretary, so don’t ask me to.” - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

“I’m not ‘worked up’ so much as ‘fed up’ with the rat faced whores in the Conservative Party who neglect to invite me to announcements in my riding.” - Pat Martin, MP for Winnipeg Centre

Canadian Political Confessions

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:30:00 -0800

Canadian Political Confessions:

It was only a matter of time.

Thomas Mulcair’s Search History via @MulcairGoogles

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 17:54:35 -0800

Thomas Mulcair’s Search History via @MulcairGoogles

Justin Trudeau’s Search History via @TrudeauGoogles

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 17:44:28 -0800

Justin Trudeau’s Search History via @TrudeauGoogles

Photo

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 17:25:54 -0800

Photo

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:31:19 -0700

Compare & Contrast Left: Speaker of the US House of...

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:05:00 -0700

Compare & Contrast

Left: Speaker of the US House of Representatives, John Boehner, posing for an official photo he uses on his Twitter page.

Right: Speaker of the Canadian House of Commons, Andrew Scheer, posing in front of farming equipment in the photo he uses on his Twitter page.

Photo

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 21:56:00 -0700

Compare & Contrast On the left is a painting of George...

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 15:10:00 -0700

Compare & Contrast

On the left is a painting of George Washington, the first President of the United States, riding a majestic white stallion.

On the right is a photo of Sir John A. Macdonald, first Prime Minister of Canada, hungover and sitting on the steps of Government House the morning following the Charlottetown Conference, which set Confederation in motion, surrounded by other hungover delegates.

US: 0, Canada: 1

Presented without commentary.

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 20:18:38 -0700

Presented without commentary.

Canadian Politicians Swearing on Twitter

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 20:13:30 -0700

Canadian Politicians Swearing on Twitter

Photo

Thu, 17 May 2012 15:18:22 -0700

Maybe human backdrops aren’t such a great idea.

Thu, 17 May 2012 14:38:00 -0700

Maybe human backdrops aren’t such a great idea.

Photo

Thu, 17 May 2012 12:56:00 -0700

Just in case you thought it was the guy in the beaver suit,...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:41:00 -0700

Just in case you thought it was the guy in the beaver suit, Peter Kent, Minister of the Environment, is actually the one on the right.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper nerding out rocking out with his...

Tue, 15 May 2012 21:21:00 -0700

Prime Minister Stephen Harper ~~nerding out~~ rocking out with his band at the 2010 Conservative Party Christmas Party.

Photo

Tue, 15 May 2012 21:19:00 -0700